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Old Chinese people and Lady Gaga

I love this.

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History of Rap pt. 3

This is the kind of rap Justin Timberlake should stick to.

Also, anything backed by the Roots has to be good.

And in case you missed it...

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Cool Whip

I ate a lot of highly processed foods growing up.

Vienna sausages.
Lunchables pizzas.
Cool Whip.

I loved every minute of it. But Cool Whip was seriously one of my favorite things to eat when I was a kid. It tastes nothing like whipped cream, but who cares. It's freaking delicious.

Anyway, it comes in aerosol can form now. AMAZING. No more dirty spoons; now I can pull a Reddi-wip and squirt it it straight out of the container. I'm assuming this version of Cool Whip still exists because Wikipedia doesn't say anything about it being discontinued (from 2008), but the Kraft website doesn't have pictures of it in aerosol can form. It had better still exist. This is the best invention since... Reddi-wip.


Although honestly, I don't really understand why Cool Whip needs to be aerosolized in the same way that Reddi-wip does. I mean, I'm assuming that Reddi-wip actually needs the aerosol to whip it, right? Because Reddi-wip kind of melts and disintegrates after being squirted, so that seems logical to me. Maybe. But Cool Whip has the right texture even when it's just sitting around in a tub. So... yes.

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Paula Deen Riding Things

So this exists. Get your mind out of the gutter, it's not what you're thinking.

(via Paula Deen Riding Things)
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I was just watching (well, listening to while doing work) Nigella on Youtube, and she said something about using beetroots for a puce-colored dressing. I hadn't really been paying attention to what she was saying before that, but I totally did a double take. How were bright red beets going to turn into a muddy green muck color? And why would you want to "anoint" your griddled halloumi with brownish-green puree?

So I Wikipedia'd "puce". And I realized that I had wrongly interpreted the color "puce" for my entire life.

Puce (often misspelled as "puse", "peuse" or "peuce") is a color that is defined as ranging from reddish-brown to purplish-brown, with the latter being the more widely-accepted definition found in reputable sources. Puce is a shade of red.

(via Wikipedia)

Why in the world did I think it was green?

Probably because it looks like "puke". Which goes to show that you shouldn't rely on your instincts to define  English words. If I had it my way, I'd name the color of puce "chartreuse" and vice-versa. Chartreuse is an awesome name but an awful color.

Chartreuse (traditional)
(via Wikipedia)

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Cereal marshmallows

Why do people like cereal marshmallows?

I love marshmallows (the homemade kind as well as the ungodly, naturally impossible jet-puffed kind). If they had marshmallows at the movie theater, I'd probably plow through a bag before the opening credits had finished. And now that I've gotten that idea in my head, that's probably what I'm going to be sneaking into the movie the next time I go.

So I'm not biased against marshmallows. I just don't understand cereal marshmallows. They're just... dried up pieces of unicorn poop. They're sweet, but they don't have the satisfaction of being airy and chewy. They're just sugar nuggets. Multicolored sugar nuggets.

And this goes for dehydrated things in your cereal in general. I used to eat Special K Red Berries, until I realized I could add REAL strawberries into my cereal.

Anyway, this is a company. Go ahead, click on it. Yes, a company that sells ONLY BAGS OF CEREAL MARSHMALLOWS.

(via Geekologie)

This looks disgusting.
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Justin Timberlake

I will let this speak for itself.

Never mind, who am I kidding. I'm going to talk about it.

I will be the first to admit that I totally drink Justin Timberlake Kool-Aid. JT has a new movie? Going to see that ish this week. He came out with a clothing line? If I were a nevernude I'd wear those jeans in the shower. He's on SNL? Why watch SNL otherwise? He doesn't have plans for a new album? My heart dies.

Like, let's be honest. I didn't click on this link because of "FreeSol". I clicked on it because it said Justin Timberlake. Duh.

BUT WHY IS HE RAPPING. JT has the most whiteboy voice ever. That's why his weird falsetto has gotten him laid for the past decade. Badass, he is. Hood, he is not. Please, just sing.

Also, just want to get it out there: WHY ARE THEY AUTOTUNING HIS RAPPING. Isn't autotune supposed to keep you in tune? THERE IS NO TUNE WHEN YOU RAP. It's rhythmic talking. Get it straight.