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Expensive lip balm

Let me preface this by saying that I can understand why some people dish out for expensive eye creams and face creams. I personally wouldn't pay hundreds of dollars for a tub of face cream, but for the wrinkle- and age-defying-obsessed, face-skin is often a pretty transparent indicator of age. But lip balm? That, my friends, is in my mind much more questionable.

Anyway, I was on the Bliss website today. Just for fun, seeing as how I'm not going to dish out the money to buy Bliss products unless they go on some super clearance-sale-extravaganza.

Case #1: $16 Bliss lip balm.

I don't know about you, but I kind of balk at paying any more than $5 (maximum) for a tube of lip balm, especially considering that I haven't finished an entire tube at any point in the past two years. A tiny tube of lip balm should not cost more than an entire bottle of body lotion. So I already thought $16 was pretty freaking expensive.

Case #2: $35 La Mer lip balm.

$35? For a "potent concentration of Miracle Broth™"? What in the world is Miracle Broth™? Diamond chicken bones? Platinum oxtails?


Case #3: $70 Sisley lip balm.

See, now I think they're just pushing up the price for fun. No way each pot of this lip balm costs $70 freaking dollars to make. Unless it contains something like saber-toothed cat semen extracted from glaciers made of mastodon tears. Which I don't think it does.

Brand reps, if you want to prove me wrong, I will gladly accept freebies. You are welcome.
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Is clown-phobia a recent phenomenon? Because otherwise, I really can't come up with any reason McDonald's and Jack in the Box have clowns as their mascots.

Logic: most kids hate clowns. Most kids love fast food. Clowns make fast food scary. Kids will hate fast food chains that feature clowns.

Perhaps clowns used to be lovable?

File:Iglesias Ronald.jpg

Hm. Perhaps not.

(pictures via Wikipedia and Foodbeast) - and yes, I did choose the picture of Ronald McDonald with Enrique Iglesias on purpose.
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Stripper Academy and other ANTM stories

Apparently, that brunette is Katie Cleary from ANTM Season 1 (not that I know who she is, but you know. Whatever).

(via Amazon)

I quote:
The owner of a high class strip club decides to recruit more beauties by co-founding the Stripper Academy. This sophisticated boot camp teaches dancers how to move and grove like the experienced pros. The academy will accept anyone, but only a few can make it to the top of the pole.

As one disappointed Amazon reviewer said, "It couldn't arouse anyone if it came with free Viagra". Poor Katie.

But it gets better. Remember blonde Amanda Swafford? I feel kind of bad now because I just remembered that she was the half-blind girl from Season 3, so I feel like I shouldn't call attention to her faltering modeling career.

Oh well.

(via bellasugar)

Felt it! Stitch it! Fabulous!

Sounds like Christian Siriano if he joined a knitting group at the age of 63. With Johnny Weir.

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Poodle fur

I totally thought that poodle haircuts were invented purely for show. I WAS SO WRONG.
The stylish "Poodle clip" was designed by hunters to help the dogs move through the water more efficiently. The patches of hair left on the body are meant to protect vital organs and joints which are susceptible to cold.
(via AKC)

(via Showdog.com)

EHEHEHEHEHE. Thanks to the friend who told me about this.
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Alton Brown's eating habits

New York Magazine online has this running series called "The Grub Street Diet" where models/chefs/miscellaneous celebrities document their meals for a couple of days. So far I have found out that Jonathan Adler falls asleep eating cookies, that Wyatt Cenac (from The Daily Show) drinks an ungodly amount of mint juleps, and that Andy Cohen eats exactly like how you would expect Andy Cohen would eat. Also that he counts the number of nuts he eats at each meal (maybe).

I love Alton Brown. Seriously, I don't know what I would do without Good Eats. And when I watched that one episode where he writes about how he dieted because he was getting too fat, I thought he was totally awesome for controlling his weight before it got out of hand. In my eyes, Alton Brown can do no wrong.

Side note: I totally can't write when I'm listening to music. It just took me a good ten minutes to get those last two paragraphs out because I kept losing my train of thought. You'd think that I would have learned sometime in the last four years NOT to multitask with music. Alas, you'd be mistaken. I have not learned at all. I may even have negative-learned.

So, you can imagine how excited I was when I saw that he had been profiled on The Grub Street Diet. I thought I'd stumbled upon some blend of deliciousness and health and magic. That's what you'd think too, right? Awesome Alton Brown has to have a similarly awesome diet. ALAS.

Tuesday, October 5
For breakfast, I had Wasa bread and two strawberries and coffee — the Wasa had nothing on it, and I was eating the high-fiber Wasa on top of that! I didn't have anything to go on top — some peanut butter would have been nice, but I didn't have any because I left my jar of it at home.

For lunch, I had a can of sardines in oil. 

I had an afternoon snack of a banana, also from the same fruit plate delivered by the hotel. Dinner was a handful of mixed nuts containing almonds, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and pecans.

"Dinner was a handful of mixed nuts"??!! ALTON BROWN WHAT ARE YOU DOING. That is dinner for NO ONE. You know who would have thought that was a good dinner? MY HAMSTER. My sixteen-pound dog eats more than his entire meal for breakfast. Also, how did he manage to split a fruit plate into two separate meals? I ate an entire two pints of blueberries yesterday in an hour. I also ate nuts... before I ate my real snack, which was half a bagel, leftover salad, some more blueberries, and a plate of watermelon. And then I ate dinner an hour later.

Alton Brown, my love for you remains. But you need to eat more. Nut medley does not a dinner make.


(via CalorieLab)
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Munchkin cats

On occasion, my friends contribute ideas for blog topics. Sleeping whales, for example. This is one of those occasions.

(via Munchkincats)

"But this is an adorable cat," you say. "Why are you posting pictures of cute animals? This is not cuteoverload. com. What do you think you're doing?"

What I am doing, my friends, is THIS.

(via Pusscats.com)

PUSSCATS.COM? Excuse me while I snort coffee out of my nose like an immature fifth grader.

Also, this cat is essentially the opposite of a serval. Everything is perfectly proportional except for its teeny, teeny legs. If this cat were ever chased by a fox or other similar predator, it would be gouged open for suresies. Seriously, how fast does this thing run? Like 0.01 miles an hour?

And since we are now on the topic of animals with tiny legs, am I the only one who gets slightly depressed when I see dachshunds rolling around on hind-leg wheelchairs? I wonder if munchkin cats need to use wheelchairs when their backs give out too.
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Dancing Asian boy revisited

The gift that keeps on giving is the best gift of all.

Remember this? I take back everything I said about him not being embraced by society and possibly feeling ashamed about his cross-dressing in his later years. I had no faith in him, and for that I apologize. Because TAIWAN LOVES HIM.

He was in a Jolin Tsai dancing contest. Judged by Jolin Tsai herself. Also, he was on multiple Taiwanese talk shows. He's FAMOUS in Taiwan now for his dancing. For reals.

I have been rendered speechless. There are so many videos of him. In one of them, he stripped off his shirt and did a sexy wave thing. I just watched one of him doing Christina Aguilera's "Express", the link for which is here. I would never post a video of myself in such a very short, very sequined dress, complete with fishnets. Conclusion: he has out-womaned me.

UPDATE: cat-eared wig dance.

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Things I hate

  1. I hate that you can't take emails back if you send them accidentally. Someone should really program a "retrieve" button for emails other than those in a closed business email system. I would, except I know nothing about programming.

  2. I hate when I drink tea and I have to pee three times more than usual. I especially hate it when I'm about to embark on a long road trip, but I really want some tea, and I drink it anyway. It's like knowingly signing my own death warrant.
  3. I hate when I go to the gym all ready to work out, and then I find out my iPod is out of battery because I forgot to charge it the night before, and then I have to work out for the entire hour pissed off and without music. I also hate it when I go to the gym and my iPod is working perfectly fine, but then I rip my stupid cheap headphones in half and I still can't listen to my music even though I have a functional iPod (granted, this only happened once).
  4. I hate when I lose something and I have to keep looking for it nonstop until I find it, because I know if I stop looking it will be gone forever and I will never see it again. Sort of like how cop shows say that there's a certain time frame within which a kidnapped person has to be found before the probability of finding them alive drops to almost zero. Except that my stuff is never kidnapped, it's just lost.
  5. I hate Bobby Flay.
  6. Update to #1: I also know absolutely nothing about HTML, as seen by my complete inability to fix a simple problem that I managed to mess up three hours ago. I hate HTML. Time to start learning how to do basic things like HTML so I don't waste another three hours of my future life redoing my dumb blog.
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Radioactive wolves

Thanks to The Bloggess, I now know that there is a show (or a potential show, I'm not sure which) called "Radioactive Wolves". The link is here. And in case you are too lazy to click on the link, here is a screenshot of the video in the link.

Unfortunately, this video is underwhelming. Like, really underwhelming. Radioactive wolves just look like... wolves. No third eye, no horns, no Wolverine-X-Men-type-adamantium claws. NONE.

And these wolves don't even DO anything interesting. They just go about normal wolf-lives, living in abandoned Chernobyl factories and hunting radioactive beavers. Honestly, the only thing different about them is that they're radioactive. And while that might make for a great/horrifying study on the state of the world's wildlife today, it does not live up to the expectations of a TV show titled "Radioactive Wolves".

Speaking of wolverines, they're actually not scary-looking at all. You'd think they would look like small, vicious wolves, but they don't. They look like fox-beaver stuffed animals.

(picture via Wikipedia)
Seriously, what would we do without Wikipedia.
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Steampunk follow-up part two

Do horrors never cease.

(via this blog)
Steampunk Furby? Really?
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Mouse deer

Kangaroo rats:

Rat kangaroos:

Deer mouse:

Mouse deer:


(pictures via Wikipedia)