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Mike Rowe

I'm not the biggest fan of the show "Dirty Jobs". Summary: Mike Rowe wades through human excrement like he's in the Maldives, and gets it all up in his nether bits (which sounds disgusting but is, ironically, where the excrement journey started in the first place. HARHARHAR).

Really not that appetizing to me.

I do, however, like this, which I saw on reddit. Turns out Mike Rowe used to sell for QVC. He's selling a cat bag here.

A bag.

For cats.

Which sounds morbidly like something a cat killer would want when he/she is throwing his/her cat into a pond, but it really isn't.

Really on a roll of inappropriate jokes today.

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Street Cleaning Simulator

I've always wanted to drive a Zamboni. I never, however, have ever had any reason to want to drive a street cleaner. Regardless, someone thought it would be a genius idea to come up with a game called "Street Cleaning Simulator".


Gamespot rates it a 1.5 out of 10. That is how bad this game is. The point of the game is to clean up garbage on the street. Gamespot:

Missions range from "clean up some sand from the gutter" to "clean up some grass from the gutter" by way of "clean up some gravel from the gutter." This cleanup is achieved by driving really, really slowly in a mostly straight line. As soon as you've worked out whether a mission requires water or not (clue: the mayor tells you), it's down to business; drive to a location marked on the map, position the brush, crawl along really slowly.

But, you say, Flight Simulator can be fun! There are so many buttons and levers to keep track of in Flight Simulator! You fly over awesome cities and oceans! Doesn't Street Cleaning Simulator have the same features?

No. It really doesn't.

 (via Gamespot)

Really, just riveting.
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Cheesecake chimichangas


"Cheesecake Chimichanga is a warm cheesecake filling wrapped in a fried shell and dusted with powdered sugar. There are also two additional flavors: Mixed Berry and Cinnamon Sugar."

(from Wikipedia)

Oh man, Taco Bueno, what are you THINKING.

(via Taco Bueno)

What they are thinking is genius, apparently, because people on Google like this ish enough to make their own homemade versions.
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"Curved Yellow Fruit"

So I saw this picture on some coupon website:

(via Hip2Save)

And then read some of the comments people had left (keep in mind this is a couponing website, so I'm assuming most of these comments are from 30-something parents slash moms):

 Think they reuse the sign for yellow squash. “Maybe no one will notice it’s not a fruit.” ;-)
 My favorite part is that the sign next to it says “BANANA ice mist” not” curved yellow fruit ice mist” Ha ha. Also agree with Skye. One of the gas station chains here sells bananas for 39c everyday.
 LOL! 69 cents is about the going rate for curved yellow fruit at most stores around here. We love them, so I am always looking for a deal.
I am laughing so hard. I had to share this with my family.What is that thing called again, it’s at the tip of my tongue, people like to eat it for breakfast…


[edit] Wow, really looking like grocery day here on the trivia handbook.
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Tofu Pups

You've seen Smart Dogs in the grocery store, right?

Smart Dogs®

(via Lightlife)

Even though I'm not vegetarian, these really don't look that bad. As in the packaging/name just makes them sound like healthy hot dogs. Smart Dogs are... smart... for you!

Versus this:

Tofu Pups®
(via Lightlife)

Really... just... yes. That is what they are.

If you want to see someone make pigs in a blanket with tofu pups and sugar cookies, go here. Or really I'm just going to embed it for you lazies.

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Cheap things

Today I bought a Wedgewood/Vera Wang plate from Bed Bath and Beyond for 98 cents. 98 CENTS!!1!!1!

Which got me thinking about the best places to find legitimately good things in the clearance section:

1. Target Dollar Spot. Do I need a monkey-shaped piggy bank? Do I want Hello Kitty sandwich bags? WHO CARES? IT'S A DOLLAR.

2. Abercrombie and Fitch. Pro: The only place where you can find a pair of jeans at $60 at the front of the store, but then find what looks like THE SAME PAIR OF JEANS for $10 in the clearance section. Con: you might not make it to the back of the store due to scent overload.

3. Kohl's, sometimes. My mom used to buy pots there. So if you like pots.

And some places that never have good clearance stuff at all, ever:

1. Best Buy. I really believe that only rich old people buy things from Best Buy because they are both scared enough of technology that they would pay Geek Squad $50 to plug their new computer in for them, as well as so intimidated by Amazon that they'd rather pay double the online price for the privilege of having a zit-covered teenager scan their items.

2. Sephora, but I actually don't care that much because their sample policy is so awesome. Also, the man who did my makeup last time I went in taught me how to fix my dried-up gel eyeliner, and THAT information was worth at least $10. Especially because Google definitely did not ever tell me that adding eye cream to gel eyeliner was a thing.