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Am I the only person out there who uses a computer with a TrackPoint?

File:Mouse pointing stick.jpeg

(via Wikipedia) This picture looks a little bit sexual. Sorry.

I don't have a trackpad on my computer. Instead, I have this rubber nub in the middle of my keyboard to control my cursor with.

When it works, I like it.

But mine is worn, and now has no more little nubbins on top of it, so it's REALLY hard sometimes to move my cursor. And then I end up writing "hhhhhhhhh" instead because the H is right next to my TrackPoint and I press it when my finger slips off the nub. Which is quite a lot. But I am too lazy to order a new one online.

[edit] "hhhhhhhhhh is not in your contacts." "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - nothing found for that search." "search results for hhhhhhhhhh - no messages matched your search." "hhhhhh - friend not found." OMG WHEN WILL IT END.
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Ctrl + T

How could I have been alive for so long without knowing what ctrl + T does. This. Is. Amazing.

(picture via this blog)
^Wow. The url for this blog is fantasticbutterrainbow.blogspot.com.

Butter and rainbows are both fantastic. Maybe even butter on rainbows. Or rainbows made of butter. Like a Pop-Tarts commercial with butter-flavored filling. Only that sounds disgusting and not really fantastic at all.

Today's fact of the day (ctrl + T, not butter rainbows) was brought to you by The Daily Grace. Go watch her. She is funny. Also maybe 78% drunk all the time. I have learned almost nothing from her, except for what ctrl + T is. And even that was actually learned through Google, because I had to Google it after watching her to find out what it really did. So really not that informative, to be honest.
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The Undefeated

Although I don't put much stock in Rotten Tomatoes (I feel like more than 50% of the reviewers are from tiny hick newspapers, and are therefore not to be trusted - am I a bigot? The answer is yes), I do feel like it says something when your movie gets a 0% rating. Not a non-rating, a rating of actually zero.

Cue Sarah Palin. I love it. I would go see it if it were in my local movie theaters. Sadly, it is not. The previous statement is also a bit of an exaggeration, because I don't think I would see it at all, in the slightest.
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Red Sour Patch Kids

In the original mix of flavors in the Sour Patch Kids package, three out of four are pretty obvious. Green is lime, yellow is lemon, and orange is, well, orange.

Sour Patch Kids

(via Dylan's Candy Bar)

But what, pray tell, is red?

I had always assumed that red Sour Patch Kids were flavored red. I swear I looked this up a couple of years back, and Google/Wikipedia back then gave me no definitive answer on what flavor red Sour Patch Kids were. I know I did this, because I wouldn't have gone two years telling people that "red tastes like red" without having first looked it up to make sure I didn't sound stupid.

Red Sour Patch Kids aren't cherry; I hate artificial cherry, and I know when something tastes like cherry. Case in point: I was happily eating pomegranate jellybeans yesterday - happily, until I bit into a cherry flavored one. Same color, same texture, HORRIBLE taste. Also, there are cherry Sour Patch that taste disgusting. So not cherry. I was also convinced it was not strawberry, and definitely, definitely not apple.

But then I looked it up again yesterday, and looks like Wikipedia has updated its Sour Patch page:

Sour Patch Kids - are the regular sour patch kids, Lime (green), Lemon (yellow), Orange (orange), and Raspberry (red), which are in equal amounts distributed in every Sour Patch Kids Candy box.

(via Wikipedia)

I mean, I guess. Red Sour Patch Kids taste like raspberry in the same way that pomegranate vodka tastes like pomegranate - you've eliminated every other red-colored option, so now you just have to settle.

[edit] The more I think about this, the more I don't believe that it's really raspberry. Have you ever eaten a Sour Patch Kid who had no sour coating (occasional manufacturer error)? I have, and the red ones taste like Swedish Fish when they're not sour. And Swedish Fish don't have a confirmed flavor, says Wikipedia. Apparently it might be "lingonberry", but I chalk that up to 1. assuming that everything from Sweden is made of lingonberries and 2. the same problem as "raspberry" red Sour Patch Kids. So now we are back at square one.

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J. Lo and Marc Anthony

So I heard this on the radio a couple of days ago and meant to post it here, but by the time I had remembered that I was supposed to post it, I had forgotten who I had been supposed to post about. All I could remember was that it was a DIVORCE. And then I read about it and I remembered:


(via Fox News)

Whose blood will Marc Anthony suck now?

[edit] This is how we know the above picture came from Fox News. Headline for the story:
Scientologists to Be? Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Are Losing Their Religion
Love it.
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I just read one of the most ridiculous articles ever published. The writer is Roe Conn, a 47-year-old radio talk show host who was named by Talker's Magazine as one of "one hundred most influential hosts in America" (at least, that's what Wikipedia says, and I'd be inclined to believe Wikipedia seeing as how I've never read nor heard of Talker's Magazine).

This 47-year-old radio talk show host wrote a page-long article about hipsters.

Bad news bears. Oh man, so many bad news bears everywhere.
"Today's hipster is easy to spot. He's often a nightclub owner with his own "production company" (read: He makes videos on his iPhone and uploads them to YouTube). He tweets about every conquest down to the joys of finding the best #gluten-free blueberry muffin @PerfectSouthBeachCafe. His uniform: Ed Hardy shirt and distressed-yet-somehow-dressy jeans, all topped with an oversize baseball cap drawn so deeply over his face that only his earlobes and nostrils are visible."

(Michigan Avenue Magazine, Summer 2011 edition, p. 80)


Apparently Roe Conn and I don't live on the same planet. Any self-proclaimed male hipster who tried to wear an "Ed Hardy shirt and distressed-yet-somehow-dressy jeans" into his local dive bar would probably get PBR deliberately thrown in his face. And I really can't even begin to picture what this "oversize baseball cap" would look like. Does he mean New Era? Because I can't think of one person who wears New Era caps who could hashtag #glutenfreeblueberrymuffin with a straight face. Shout out to 50 Cent!

I feel kind of bad for Roe, because it's obvious he tried. He tried so hard. But Roe, an elderly man outfit of vintage Clubmasters, elbow pads, and OG British WWII boots could totally make you hipster burglary bait.

You're closer to trendy than you think.
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Yet another common spelling error that I really don't understand -

Affect vs. effect: Really? Are we still in elementary school? Something has an effect on you, not an affect. Get it straight.

Also, can everyone please join me in making "lickerish" a viable English word again? "Lascivious; lecherous," says wordnik, and really, doesn't everyone need a word that sounds both less as well as more creepy than "lascivious"? "Lascivious" reminds me of overly friendly old uncles who give See's Candies to their nieces and nephews with a creepy smile. "Lickerish" makes me think of these same old uncles as if they all resembled Lickitung.


(via Bulbapedia)
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Skunks are actually pretty cute. I don't think most people know that skunks are cute because they don't take the time to really look at a skunk before running in the other direction. I always assumed skunks were just smelly badger-type animals.

(via Narragansett Pest Control)

See? Skunk couple is adorable!

Also, I can't be the only person who thought that skunks had only one white stripe. But they have two! Also, there are SPOTTED SKUNKS.

File:Spilogale gracilis.jpg

(via Wikipedia)

So that's exciting.
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Britney Spears impersonator

I just watched a bunch of awesome Youtube videos featuring British people, and I'm speaking in an English accent in my head as I type. I also feel as if my writing has become more British sounding as a result, but that may just be a consequence of the accent. Which would make sense, seeing as I don't really know what the difference between British and American writing would be, exactly, besides saying things like "quid" and "polo" and "Her Majesty".

Also, as I write this, I'm beginning to realize that I may or may not have an obsession with boys and/or men who do lady-dances. Whether or not this is a good thing remains to be seen. Perhaps I harbor a subconscious fetish for such things. A fetish that my poor, poor boyfriend will discover in years to come when I make him wear a cone bra to bed.

And now I have stalled for far too long (see, doesn't that sound British to you? "FARH too long"). The point: I don't watch America's Got Talent. Watching this video (which, conveniently, I was turned on to by the same British Youtube videos I spoke of earlier) has convinced me that I, perhaps, should.

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Francis Lam

There aren't many blogs that I enjoy reading purely for their written content.

There are plenty of monstrously informative blogs (Gizmodo for all its nerdy glory), pretty-picture-blogs (The Sartorialist, which is full of bicycles and cuffed pants and girls with cuffed pants riding bicycles), and, my favorite, food blogs (I spend most of my time looking at pictures of chocolate-covered bacon and homemade pistachio gelato). But there are very few blogs that consistently make me laugh. One of them, as this blog has hinted at, is Go Fug Yourself. Another is Hyperbole and a Half, of which the only flaw is extremely infrequent updates (something I'm actually guilty of myself, so now I'm just being judgy and hypocritical). And yet neither of these blogs talk about food. 

I'm realizing how utterly scary it would be to be a parent with Biscoff spread in the house. I mean, imagine being a kid and realizing that there is a jar of something that makes everything taste like cookies.

Thank you, Francis Lam, for giving me my laugh out loud moment of the day. From now on, I will carry little packages of Biscoff spread (yes, that would be the SPREADABLE VERSION OF DELTA COOKIES) in my purse to give to small children, who can then terrorize their parents with it. To the parents of the world, you are welcome. I promise I am not as creepy as this previous sentence may have made me out to be.

Read his awesome Salon column, Sacrificial Lam, here.

[edit] Boo, I just realized his most recent post was in April. Sigh.
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Expensive perfume

Who needs a $865 bottle of perfume? NO ONE. Why would you even want $865 worth of perfume? You probably lose 75% of your investment every time you use your perfume. That is crazy talk.

Now, I know there are more expensive perfumes out there. But for those perfumes, you're paying mostly for the bottle, which you can at least proudly display and maybe sell for cash. This bottle is just PAINTED gold. It doesn't specify what "gold" means, so it could just be gold paint. $865 gold paint that they could have picked up at Lowes in a spray can.

(via Neiman Marcus)

P.S: They are very proud to be "recognized by the Guinness Book of Records as the world's most expensive perfume". So proud that they've put it on every website I've seen them at.

Also, here's a list of perfume notes from the same Neiman Marcus page:

• A floral-oriental fragrance. • Top notes of pineapple, plum, mirabelle, bergamot, lemon, and cardamom. • Heart notes of rose, jasmine, ylang ylang, orris, and orchid.• Base notes of vanilla, tonka seeds, cedarwood, sandalwood, and musk amber.• In a 1.6-ounce painted gold bottle engraved with the signature crown of Queen Victoria.

This is why I am skeptical. I've heard of all these ingredients before, in bottles of perfume much cheaper than this. I have a lemon in my fridge. I have vanilla extract in my pantry. I have roses in my backyard, jasmine in my tea, as well as three pineapples in my dining room (HAHA!). And I could probably find the signature crown of Queen Victoria on Google and stencil it to a gold colored bottle. So there's that.
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Perfect hair

This doesn't really fall under the umbrella of "trivia", but I'm posting it anyway because his hair is beautiful. It is like angel hair. But not angel hair as in the pasta, angel hair as in real live angels.

(via The Sartorialist)