Zombie extravaganza

I have not one, but two zombie-related stories for you guys today. Even though it's not anywhere close to Halloween at this point.

(via Wikipedia)

The first is for those people that hate going to the gym, and can't manage to motivate themselves on the elliptical and/or the treadmill for the life of them; even though they have already told themselves that they need to get into the gym and lose those extra 5 pounds, their brain starts screaming "BOREDOM" at their poor legs and lungs and they stop within 5 minutes because they see that they only burn 10 calories per minute (which, by the way, is such a ripoff, evolutionarily speaking. Like, the average weight person only burns about 100 calories per 10 minutes at a steady jogging pace. IT TAKES 10 MINUTES TO BURN OFF A 100-CALORIE SNACK, which are supposed to be LOWER in calories than one's normal food. 10 minutes of agonizing sweatiness). Well, here's a motivation. ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. If you live in Chicago, Excel Gymnastics Academy offers ZombieFit classes ("Fitness to Survive the Apocalypse"), which teach physical survival skills in the case of a zombie apocalypse - running, jumping over things, leaping from rooftop to rooftop (hypothetically speaking, of course, I don't think they actually make you leap across roofs in the class).

Of course, if you really think about it, zombies aren't exactly the fastest little munchkins around. They use dead bodies, meaning that their muscles are probably already in rigor mortis and can't really chase after you too effectively to begin with - running or jumping are probably a little too much for their stiff joints to handle. You could actually probably beat a zombie just by walking slowly in front of them and closing a door in their face when you got home. But all that is beside the point. See their website here.

The second zombie-related thing I found today was the Sacramento zombie walk. Sacramento has a ZOMBIE WALK, you guys. Or, rather, had. Judging from pictures here, I think the whole point was just to walk around dressed as zombies. They had a zombie happy hour, too, but I don't know what kinds of drinks "zombie happy hour" consists of. What do zombies drink? CAN they drink? Shouldn't their esophagi be too decayed to even consume liquor in the first place?

(via The Inquisitr and KCRA.com)


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